


lost in the stars

by zoeluna



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Love Confessions, One Shot, Talking, finding clarkes drawings, just a lil thing knocking around my brain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 21:24:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14723850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoeluna/pseuds/zoeluna
Summary: Bellamy admits to Clarke that he found her drawings in her cell on the Ark





	lost in the stars

**Author's Note:**

> umm i don't know how to start this, just read it and lemme know what y'all think

“I found your drawings.”

Clarke froze. She was gazing into the fire, trying to put together a plan for the next day. She and Bellamy were alone at the campsite, keeping watch. They had been talking about strategy and plans for hours. Her brain was fried and she knew his was too. She raised her eyes to to meet his.

“What drawings?”

Bellamy looked down at the fire, avoiding her gaze. “On the ark. I found the drawings in your cell.”

She stared at him. She had no idea what to say.

“It was about two months after Praimfaya. Monty had the algae farms started, Raven was working on the mechanics of it all, everyone else was just trying to catch their breath. I kept everyone going. I was trying to use my head. I was trying to honor what you asked me to do.”

Clarke kept her eyes on Bellamy, holding her breath, but he didn’t look up. They hadn’t talked about the time on the ring. For the most part, they stayed in the present, trying to move forward. The past was too painful. But still, she wanted to know.

“I would go throughout different parts of the Ark everyday, trying to put together an inventory of everything we had. I was avoiding the cells because I just knew it would be too hard. I couldn’t go there and see all of the faces of the people we had lost. I couldn’t let myself walk through the halls and see the 100. Finn, Charlotte, Jasper. Octavia. You.

I went alone one day after everyone had fallen asleep. The halls were empty. It was the last of the old Ark, it felt so weird, like looking through a time machine to a different world. But then I found the cell at the end of the hall. I don’t even know how, but I knew it was yours. Even before I opened the door, I knew. It still smelled like you. I could catch just a touch of it on the air. I have no idea how it was still there, but maybe that’s just who you are. Constantly leaving behind impressions that I just can’t seem to grasp.”

Clarke wanted to say something, anything, but she just kept her eyes on Bellamy. He kept talking, almost as if she wasn’t even there. As if he had rehearsed this conversation in his head a million times, but he never expected her to be able to say anything back.

“And your drawings were everywhere. On the walls, the floor, I could see one on the ceiling. How did you even manage that, huh? The waterfalls and trees and animals. They all looked so real. You saw the ground before we could even dream of it. But that’s what you always do. You somehow manage to see it all before anyone else. It’s in that head of yours I guess.”

He paused for a moment, eyes still glued to the fire. Clarke wanted to speak, but she had no idea what she would say. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, Bellamy looked up, his eyes meeting hers, fierce and glistening in the fire.

“It was all I had left of you. I never told any of the others about it. It was where I hid when it all became too much. I just.. wanted one piece of you for myself.”

He held her gaze now, refusing to look away. A tear rolled slowly down his cheek and she realized she wasn’t breathing.

Clarke tore her eyes away, turning to her pack. After rifling through it for a moment, she looked back towards Bellamy.

Slowly, very carefully, she stood up and walked around the circle of the fire, until she was standing over him. She knelt down and reached her hand to wipe away the tear from his face. His hand instinctively grabbed hers and he held it tightly, almost afraid to let go. Finally, she found her voice.

“I thought of you every day, Bellamy. I called your name over that walkie every day. For six years, you have been the dream in my head.”

His eyes were boring into her, his grip on her hand tightening so much it almost hurt. Then, she reached out and placed a small, leather bound book into his lap.

Bellamy looked down at the book. It was smooth and worn, the color of the trees after rain. He reached down to hold it in his hands. As it fell open, she felt his body stiffen.

There he was on every page. Him and Raven, Monty, Jasper, Octavia, Wells, Lexa. All of their faces jumped from the page as if they were photographs. There was Jasper at the river, laughing wit his goggles askew. Wells, looking serious and stoic standing on the edge of a cliff. Octavia, her body tensed in a warrior’s stance, ready to pounce. Lexa, soft and gentle in a bed, in a way Bellamy had never seen her.

But above all was his face. There he was on every page. Smiling, frowning, fighting, laughing.

“ _You_ were my dream, Bellamy. You were everything I was trying to get back to.”

The air was still as they sat, Clarke kneeling in front of Bellamy. She reached her hands out and slowly cupped his face.

“You have me, Bellamy. You have all of me.”

He stared at her. For the first time in 6 years, he felt like he could breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ever fanfic and i am feeling quite vulnerable about it, but i would love support as well as constructive criticism! pls leave comments or kudos or whatever.


End file.
